Sunday, February 04, 2007

Each Day Is A Blessing

Sometimes, in the course of my free time, I will browse through this blog. Sometimes there is a post about an event that I remember fondly (the snow that covered the campus in January 2004 springs to mind), but oftentimes I just want to see how my writing has changed and hopefully progressed since I started writing almost four years ago.

Well, I noticed in reading my recent (and sporadic) posts that while my writing style has changed, but not really progressed. Indeed, in some cases I may have regressed--the lack of description, the hasty manner (which for some reason is the way I write, as though deadlines are imminent) in which it's delivered, and just the general, well, non-interest of the subjects I write on.

And then I look back on the posts from 2005 and some of 2006. Some of the longer, more philosophical quotes actually got COMMENTS, and I covered a broad range of topics--politics, love, friendship, and what's it like to live as a college student and feel "in-between."

Well, perhaps my lack of inspiration of late has been a factor of feeling less in-between than usual--you know, that impending graduation tends to settle things in your mind--but I want to apologize. To myself, and to my readership, invisible as it may be (though I know some of you are out there, what with people knowing more about me than they could just by reading my AIM away messages): I apologize for holding back. Usually, with me, that would be considered a virtue; I spare people the brunt of my angst or nostalgia or whatever the neurosis of the day is. However, on here, holding back limits creativity, and ironically angst, nostalgia, anger, and despair seem to fuel creativity to a certain extent. I hold back for two reasons: "No one wants to hear this" and "I don't want to write it."

Well, at least one of those has changed. I do want to write things. I have always loved writing things, ever since I sat down at age ten and wrote a long epic about a young chipping sparrow and his adventures. I shall promise only to hold back when I think the negativity of my feelings would detract from what I am writing. Furthermore, I promise to tackle more interesting subjects, of which there are many in my life, and indeed in every life.

And besides, if this website still exists thirty years from now, I'll want to look back and see more than just my class schedule for the semester.

(I'm still flying.)


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