Sunday, March 26, 2006

Originally, there was a post here about Pandora. I'm going to put it back up later, but I wanted to devote this to something else--i.e., another song I heard that made me stop, listen, and notice.

About two months ago, I broke up with Maria. It was not easy for me to do, and I didn't do it because it was something I'd planned on doing. Some guys let go of their girlfriends because the fire has died, or they noticed someone "better," or they were bored with the situation. For me, it was something my brother Joe put into words long before I broke it off: "Will, you've wanted a relationship for a long time. Now you're in one. You have to ask yourself, is this the relationship you wanted back then?"

As it turns out, it wasn't. But that doesn't negate what it was to me, and what it did for me. The problem with ending a relationship is finding a song about it that isn't a bitter screed or a teary reminiscence, but something that expresses both the regret and the joy of what had been and what's past. Things fall apart--the center cannot hold. But for the short time that it does hold, when things stick together...well, who's to say that's not worth celebrating? That there's time to look back and smile past the frustration, bitterness and anger and say "I accept and love that for what it was"?

I'm not sure how long it takes me to move on. Sometimes I seem to hold onto things longer than I really need to. But sometimes, after nights like last night, after songs like this one, you can look back and start to loosen your grip on the past a little, learn to live with what you are instead of who you used to be.


The Difference
by Matchbox 20

Slow dancing on the boulevard
In the quiet moments while the city’s still dark
Sleepwalking through the summer rain
In the tired spaces you could hear her name
When she was warm and tender
And you held her arms around you
There was nothing but her love and affection
She was crazy for you
Now she's part of something that you lost

And for all you know
This could be
The difference between what you need
And what you want to be

Night swimming in her diamond dress
Making small circles move across the surface
Stand watching from the steady shore
Feeling wide open and waiting for
Something warm and tender
Now she's moving further from you
There was nothing that could make it easy on you
Every step you take reminds you that she's walking on

For all you know
This could be
The difference between what you need
And what you want

Every word you never said
Echoes down your empty hallway
And everything that was your world
Just came down

Day breaking on the boulevard
Feel the sun warming up your secondhand heart
Light swimming right across your face
And you think "Maybe someday,
Yeah, maybe someday"

For all you know
This could be
The difference between what you need
And what you want...

2 Comments:

Blogger Erendira de Ville said...

You've sparked my interest, Will May, I will have to check out that song tonight.

9:35 AM  
Blogger Gryffilion said...

You do that, Ethel.

6:58 PM  

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