In which our hero discovers The Unfortunate Cup of Coffee

So I head over to the Caf for my usual Saturday brunch routine. I always get potatoes, corned beef hash, and a biscuit at the food line, and then coffee and orange juice (sometimes iced tea, too) at the fountain drink station, and maybe a couple cookies or a piece of cake. And some fruit, too. Anyways, they have run out of biscuits by the time I get there. Okay, well, I got here late so that's to be expected. I go to the drink line...and BOTH fountain drink stations are out of order. Not only that, the fruit juice stations are out of order too. This leaves coffee, pink lemonade, hot tea, and the milk stations. So I decide to get some chocolate milk and coffee. Except not, they were out of chocolate milk. Then I go to the coffee dispense and push down on the top. Nothing. Not a drop. This is repeated for each of five dispensers, until finally I get some coffee.
*glug glug glug fwwwsshhht*
The last sound was the sound of the dispenser going dry. While my cup is only half full.
Now, for the most part, I am a reasonable man. But lack of coffee can drive reasonable men to do unreasonable things. So it was with a crazed mind and lustful intentions that I grabbed an instant coffee packet, poured it into my cup, and filled the rest of my coffee cup with hot water.
Yes...that's right...I admit to the sin of using instant coffee. Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned...
But the thing is, even with that horrible trangression aside, I still need something refreshing. You have the ying, the HOT, of the coffee, coupled with the yang, the COLD, of something like orange juice, or iced tea, etc. It provides balance to one's meal and eases a troubled mind (and mine was getting more troubled by the minute, no thanks to Dining Services). So I reluctantly got a glass of the pink lemonade from one of those big plastic containers where the juice is always swirling around...yeah...you know the kind. So I go to my table, sit down, take a nice sip of the cold....DISGUSTING lemonade. Whoever invented that particular brand of drink is going to Hell, mark my words. I had to make do with an unbalanced breakfast, drinking only my coffee and staring disconsolately at the fruit drink station.
However, I made things a little bit better by getting myself a pancake and making a makeshift crepe by putting a little bit of chocolate syrup on it and folding it over. The pie I had gotten was chocolate banana meringue or something, and was still frozen in the middle. I took two bites and left it.
So yes...this has turned my vague dislike of the Caf into a burning hatred, which I doubt can ever be fully quenched. Even if they do that silly renovation and turn the Caf into a dining hall of light and joy and abundance of good food--I shall never again trust its gustatory offerings.
So take THAT, Commons Dining facility.