Wednesday, September 15, 2004

I talked with my friend Becky about that dream today...I can't get the images in it out of my mind. I remember this feeling of love, in a way I've never felt before. It was a familial love, to be sure...but it had something else too, a touch of the Divine, I suppose. When I woke up there was also a sense of great a shadow had not only lifted, it had been replaced with something soothing.
So when Becky and I talked about it, I mentioned the twin sisters (who don't exist in real life) and we talked about what they could mean. She suggested that they were the dichotomy that exists between romantic and familial love, and how they are complements of each other and stem from the same basic place in one's heart and mind. I agreed but wondered how that fit in. We finally decided that perhaps it was meant to tell me that romantic love can't exist if I don't acknowledge and value the familial love I have--but on the other hand, familial love can exist without romantic love, when it isn't there, and strengthen it, when it is. (The whole dichotomy thing again). What I'm wondering twins have other significance in dreams as well? Anyone? I'm curious here...I don't think my mind made up a pair of twin sisters for Gracie out of nowhere. Considering how wrapped up I am in symbols.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

The twinned image in your family is strong right now: there's Gracie and Geneva; there's Cassidy and Gracie; there's the actual twin sets: Johnathan and Leigha, and then Tina's new premature twin girls.

There's also the Jungian twinned states of being: dark/light; pain and its absence; the persona and the shadow, etc.

Our intention is always love. As Leonard Cohen said: "we are leaning out for love/we will lean that way forever..." or something like that. But it is what motivates us. The thing about your dream is that you were given the direct experiential understanding of this bedrock human condition.

The three kinds of love--eros, philia, and agape, are intertwined--maybe twinned, even! You know yourself that in some way philia--the confreres of friendship --is as important to you as eros. In fact, it may be for you that philia and agape (to lay down our lives for another) are most prominent right now.

You're on the threshold of your life. And now you've been visited by the Graces themselves: (don't you love the humor of the dreaming self?) to remind you how sweet and how ineffable joy is. When the Graces appear, it is the assurance of peace and happiness. Festivity. Think of the ten of is interesting that your Graces are young, and that they are the issue of your brother--a brother you both admire for his creativity adn worry about for his well-being. The one for whom you think "there but for the grace of God, go I..." The Graces may be sweet but they aren't simple at all..

The dream bodes well for your sophomore year. It tells you, literally, to go in peace to love and serve.

10:27 PM  
Blogger Gryffilion said...

That's what I thought too. My friend Kanene and I were talking about it...she's deeply spiritual and we discussed how the love I felt was the love of God, both directly and through other people.
I also noticed how I was, well, disappointed to wake up from it--but not in the usual way. Instead, I was also happy...I felt that a great burden had been lifted off my soul. I had been looking for affirmation of who I am from other people, which is a sure-fire way to feel empty and alone and ashamed. And then this dream comes...and wipes away the care and pain.
As I told my friend Sarah, "I would seek that kind of Light in my life." But how?
I told Kanene that faith is a always has to go somewhere. This dream has given me a new sort of faith--and now I have to figure out where it's going.

1:24 AM  

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