I've been reflecting on my first year at William & Mary at large, now that I've gotten some distance from it. I'm beginning to realize that my GPA is a function, not of my abilities or intelligence, but of the fact that I really don't know how to study. I mean, I didn't have to study through high school--it wasn't necessary. I could pick up stuff quickly enough that studying was redundant and pointless. At college, however, it's a completely different animal. You have to study to get by. HAVE to. I guess I heard this repeated but always assumed that it was like high school and I could skate by. Oh well. Lessons, lessons.
Plus, over the course of both semesters I had to cope with an inordinate amount of emotional and physical stuff (I guess that's freshman year in general). First there was my roommate's/Katie's betrayal of me. I never really discussed that on here but they said some pretty horrible stuff about me over the course of several months. Naturally, when I found out about this, I severed ties with them and still consider myself well rid of their "friendship." (Hence the emotional upheaval when Katie tried to get in touch with me back in April.) Then there was the bedbug problem which my roommate unwittingly brought with him from home. And believe me, that was quite a bitch of a problem in itself. Not only was I suffering a severe allergic reaction to the bites themselves, the anxiety caused by having parasites living in my bed was quite disturbing. Not that I blame my low grades specifically on that, but I think that it caused a lot of undue distraction and low-level mental distress.
This, coupled with the fact that I needed to branch out. I have lived most of my life in solitude--by default, since I live way the hell out in the middle of nowhere. At college, naturally, this changed. I put down strong emotional roots at Taliaferro and I am glad I did so. Overall I think the emotional gains of this year are worth a reduced GPA.
Not to say that I won't be working hard these next three years. But I needed a solid base to work from--friends, fun, and valuable experiences. Success, like any other quantity (GDP, if you're a nasty economist) has to be quanitifed by a number of a things. I believe that there is no cause for regret--only determination. Which is as it should be.