Sunday, April 18, 2004

These end-of-days are finally ending in a blaze...

A blaze of new-found glory, perhaps. But we shall see. I don't know why things feel so good...sometimes it's really hard to put a handle on it, when it's spring and it's finally warm again and for once, you can look up and see green instead of blue.
I must say, I miss the beginning of the year a little bit--there's a loss of innocence that accompanies every change, but sometimes even with that loss comes a strengthening of self and of a sense of self. Who we are is born in these years, whether or not we go to college--but if you're in an academic institution the focus is so much greater on YOU. Don't most colleges vie for superiority in terms of who promotes the most self-awareness, whos is the most student-oriented rather than admistration- or program-oriented?
I realize I'm rambling slightly here, but that's probably to be expected.
At any rate...I discovered last night that Pleasants 1st is all male, as per an administrative decision Hank and I only discovered after the fact. Hank was very phlegmatic about the whole thing--he said the situation would be cool either way. I was a bit dissapointed, I must admit. It's always nice having girls around. Stephanie got sort of annoyed with me and said that "it's not like you HAVE to date the girls on your hall." I told her that I was a fan of diversity, and that girls could also cook a lot better than approximately 100% of the guys we'd be living with. Anyways, I hate the assumption that girls think guys want women on their floor for one reason and one reason only. Fact is, our attractions, though perhaps simpler-appearing on the surface, can be just as complex as women's. Sometimes the mere pleasure of being around girls--of being part of their day-to-day lives, I guess you could say--is enough to bring joy back into our lives. I know that I have felt more alive, more alive since I got here...no doubt I would have felt that way had I been placed in all-male housing, but the fact remains is that co-ed housing puts that certain edge back in your life. And goodness knows that edge has been absent long enough for me to enjoy it now.
I realize this probably sounds like an obsessive post--but please understand, I'm just extremely overanalytic. Hamlet had NOTHING on me.

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