Saturday, March 27, 2004

It's weird sometimes, thinking about how quickly some things change. No one ever makes friends with someone and thinks "Gee, someday this person might not be my friend anymore"--but regrettably, there are some people who will leave our lives irrevocably, for good or for ill.
Which is why I'm wondering about Katie. Emily and I got into a minor tiff over it--the cause of my post the other night--and it made me feel really torn up over what happened with Katie last semester. I never like confrontation, even with the people who've done me wrong. What hurts is that a relationship that's dead and gone is still causing me problems with the people I love. It's going to be a stumbling block in my friendship with Emily for some time, just because of my nature, who I am. I guess it kind of stings that Emily doesn't "get it" when she said that Katie and I could "still be friends." I wanted her to at least understand how I felt, how betrayed and humiliated I had been by Katie's behavior, but I couldn't even get that much. For all the compassion that gets touted these days there are still a lot of people willing to tell you to take it like a man and suck it up. Which I'm willing to do--but not at the cost of my pride and well-being, which I would certainly sacrifice if I went crawling back to Katie at any point.


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