"I greet you from the other side of sorrow and despair..."

Here's your disgust quotient of the day. Try waking up to find you're sharing the bed with about ten bedbugs--all of which have been gorging themselves silly on your personal sanguinary fluids.
I finally realized that my bed is no longer safe when I discovered the half-inch long...THING...crawling towards the wall on one side of the mattress. It's so bloated it looks more like a minature cigar than anything else. And yes, I know, this is completely, utterly, and absolutely appalingly GROSS. But you only have to read about it.
I have to wake up to it.
We have done everything possible. Changed mattresses, spread diatomaceous earth, vacuumed, swept, washed the sheets and blankets twice. And these vermin still remain to plague me further.
I tried waking up Gabi, but she said it would have to wait til morning. So I tried calling my parents, but no one answers the phone.
Maybe I should laugh...after all, it's the one thing I haven't tried yet.