Thursday, February 26, 2004

I was today introduced to a band called Pain of Salvation. At first they were just kind of background noise while I was playing Halo, but one of their songs hit me at a subconscious level. So today I downloaded it and....wow. I've never heard anything like this before in my entire friggin' life. (NOTE: I'd advise people sensitive to emotional songs not to read this. Although the final message of hope comes in at the end--it's a pretty intense read.) Things that really stuck out for me--the use of the words "un-dies" and "unblind," and the phrase "beautiful life"--there's an implied sense that she's seeing what she wasn't able to before she attempted suicide. My thoughts on this are convoluted--but I'm definitely sensing that there's a lot more to it than meets the eye at first glance. Read it and maybe you'll see why.


ROPE ENDS by Pain of Salvation [the band name is especially fitting in this case, I thought]

She is still young...
She is still young...
She is still young...


Another day of emptiness
This life is wearing her down
The room around her is a mess
Her children safe with her mom

She is still young but feeling old
Two children with different fathers
She sits on the bathroom floor alone
The shower chain broke
Her neck hurts

Then another night of emptiness to wear her down
Naked to the world she wraps her sadness in a gown
Her children fast asleep she sears the dark with glassy eyes
Choosing carefully among her husband's business ties

"Over!" she cries through rope ends and silk ties
But life holds her hand, refusing to let go
Beautiful life escaping her young blue eyes
Leaving her breathing on the floor

They're still asleep, don't hear her cry
And she's still obsessed with rope ends
This time she picks a stronger tie
With Winnie the Pooh and friends

She is still young but feeling old
A child dying to be a mother
Now she hangs from the ceiling all alone
All pressure is falling from her

Seeing guilt has taught her guilt, she's raised on disbelief
Merely twenty, beautiful, but with a taste for grief
She has learnt all that there is to know about hopelessness
Seeing that no effort in this world can stand her test

"Over!" she cries through rope ends and silk ties
And Winnie is strong, would never let her fall
Beautiful life escaping her young blue eyes
Prevents her from breathing till she's not there at all
"Over!" she cries through rope ends and silk ties
But life holds her hand, refusing to let go
Beautiful life escaping her young blue eyes
Leaving her breathing on the floor

Seeing guilt has taught her guilt, she's raised on disbelief
Merely twenty, beautiful, but with a taste for grief
She has learnt all that there is to know about helplessness
Seeing that no caring in this world can ease her stress

Helpless she lies in rope ends and un-dies
The ceiling let go, the old house let her fall
Unseeing eyes fixating Eeyore's smile
Dropping her breathing to the hard cold floor
"Over!" she cries as she's going unblind
Hitting her head, a broken china soul
Still in this life, still in this troubled mind
Red stains on porcelain and she's not there at all

Breathing she cries for rope ends and silk ties
Blackened and bruised, learning how to see
Beautiful eyes, Piglet stands shy behind
Staring at her tooth, crimsoned ivory
Broken she lies undead and unblind
Hours they pass, this broken china soul
Beautiful life, beautiful crying young eyes
Red stains on porcelain and she's not there at all...



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